The Day of Descent

What?
I never lied!

I have truly built a castle out of my chaotic life,
I have ridden the fiery chariot of the gods,
And I have learned to age,
without ever growing up.

I have found clarity
from amongst my shattered conscience,
I have managed
to ignore all of my moments,
I have weaved long tales
out of the sound of the wings
of the pigeons in the neighbor's yard.

Today, all the rivers
turned into mirages,
and the asphalt,
shiny from few drops of rain,
only mirrored the blue of the sky.

After a long time
that I waited for a crow
to come and sit
on the wires of my loneliness,
I only today found out
that I have become the anguish.

Suddenly I feel
that all my life
has been a lesson
I never learned.

Suddenly
21 seem to be such a small number after all,
cuz I feel so damn old. . .

These days any little sound scares me
and every new path loses me. . .

Now I think,
if all my life,
I didn't want all the things
that were bad for me,
I could have found happiness somewhere.

I see myself in days when my hair
would dance in a breeze, of not knowing
and I had a skylight that had the sun in it,
a time when the moonlight
wouldn't kill all my stars,
days I knew,
I don't have a sea of insanity to deny.

I know about the tide now,
some nights, when I feel like the sorrow is overwhelming,
I know it's because of the flow
of the tears 
and when I have no tears to shed,
I know that every flow must have it's ebb.

I don't want the night to be so dark;
the stars can never measure up to the moonlight,

Ask the moon to stay;
I don't care tonight if all my stars are dead,
Tonight I'll understand it if I'm told that I never had a sun,
And I'll accept that I don't want anything 
Nothing at all. . .
Not even the sweet sweet candies
that used to be the simplest definition of me.

Happy Birthday indeed.

 Dec 27, 07 Tehran Iran