Hallucinated

I can't hear my angel anymore… It's been a long time since I took a pen between my fingers and now every dot seems to be an eternity… Isfahan isn't the way it used to be, It's lacking a strange thing that is no longer flowing in "Zayande Rood"! Be still…see? You can not hear the cricket in neighbor's yard that used to talk to the moon all night keeping her awake… No wonder it's such a dark night… Seems like I have been away a century rather than two years, now my books all smell like the clothes in my dad's closet… Why do I sleep so much? Why don't I listen? Why do the old man's hands, who would lean on the alley's wall all day, with an unbreakable faith, waiting for his son who went to the war long long ago, is not shaking anymore? He's still saying something under his breath, "خدایا.خدایا"… "Oh Dear Lord"… I lose my words when I see him… The sky is hot and swollen…black like tar. And God, sitting somewhere near, a little fan in his hands, is making some icy lemonades! I still remember a time, When a torrid lie in my head, bleed dry all my faith. Then stepped out in victory, and just walked away… Leaving me bewildered, Staring at the little shards of my inability on my mother's prayer rug… My mind is frozen ever since… I do feel shorter than all the pains standing tall beside me, But I DO try to rise up above it... Though I am left behind… Though I don't know anything for sure any more! Though I stretched as much as I could and yet I couldn't touch the moon… Couldn't get even close to her… Is it so hard to see me? I know…I am fading… Like I am evanescent… Just like a star which ascents in the morning, I loose all my shine beside the sun… I can't hear my angel anymore, Now I wonder, did she ever talk to me? or was that just another figment of my wandering imagination? Nov 03, 07 Isfahan Iran